I deciphered that we fucked up when she uttered those words while Jai was on the call. I cleared my throat, as silence pervaded on his side.

"Jai, I....she is....a baby."

I tried to cover it up, but the silence on that side was piercing my heart. They are powerful people, and certainly shouldn't be messed with. What the hell just happened, man?

"She isn't wrong though!"

He replied, after inhaling deeply. Was it a taunt at me? Oh God! He has anger issues, and I'm scared of becoming the next prey.

"Jai! Jai! I'm coming to the mansion, okay?"

I tried my best to elucidate him, but he cut him off.

"Yeah! And don't worry! I don't get affected by such words."

He spoke casually, but I still feel he is offended, and without saying anything further, he disconnected the call. My heart is racing like a horse now.

"Preeti! They are not bad people. I've seen them. Yeah, the middle one is a gone case, rest everyone is nice there."

I explained to her, and she pouted looking downwards.

"I'm so sorry!"

She replied in low quivering voice. Oh God! Is she hurt?

"It's okay, chipmunk! Relax!"

I quickly left my seat, and perched beside her on the sofa, but she didn't budge. She comfortably placed her head on my bicep. I admire how she is getting comfortable with me, but she is too young for all this.

The way she jumped on me, and held me tightly while we were riding the bike, aroused the most unknown feelings in me - passionate and desirous!

Her eyes are dark brown, but they hold depth that I want to dive into. I could never notice this during my school time, perhaps because she was a child back then, and I certainly couldn't have feelings for a child.

She was curiously gawking at the restaurant, whereas I was busy ogling her round chubby cheeks, pink small lips, a slender long nose and almond like brown eyes. She has slight double chin, but unexpectedly even that suits her perfectly.

Our order arrived after a while.

She glanced at me with sparkling eyes when the chocolate latte arrived. She slurped it up lovingly, and we talked about random topics. Luckily, she opened up to me regarding her periods. The topics of our conversation were changing every minute, but we didn't get bored.

We ate together, and shared almost everything about our families. I got to know about her mother's behaviour towards her figure, that I didn't like, and she felt sad listening about my parents.

I went to Jai after this, and got to know that he was not at all affected by Preeti's words, instead he laughed and discarded the topic. He is actually very good at heart.

Meeting each other randomly became our routine after that. Her presence used to lighten up my mood. I secretly talked to the dance teacher of our school, and she got the centre position in the performance - something she deserved!

She was very happy after the annual function, and we went out again to celebrate her perfect dance performance on the stage.

After three meetings, I decided to propose her properly with a bouquet and chocolates. She said 'yes' instantly, and I gave a princess twirl after that. She was surprised that I could lift her up.

"I'm a gym brat, chipmunk!"

I teased her, leaving her all red. Spending time with her, I realised why I was never attracted to perfect girls, because I like the imperfect, yet original girls.

The way she accepts her figure, and stays confident about it even in this tender age, is what inspires me and attracts me.

Preeti's boards were close, so I didn't disturb her for an entire month. Also I was preparing for UPSC IPS entrance exam. After Preeti's exams were over, she started texting me, beseeching for a date.

She is important to me, so I agreed to meet her, and it was beautiful as always, but when this continued, it started affecting my studies. We had a small fight over the text, when her board results were out, and I denied meeting her.

She seemed off, so we decided to meet, but today she was silent.

"Chipmunk! You must understand me too."

I grumbled, taking a sip of orange juice that was ordered by me.

"I'm understanding you, but it's my big day."

She complained in a shrill voice, pouting and stuffing chocolates in her mouth.

"I know and I congratulated you for that, but I have the exam soon. I need to study for my nani, and you..."

I stated, but the way her eyes widened stopped me from speaking further.

"Me?" She asked, her countenance so shocked that I gulped deciphering if she couldn't get my words.

"Yeah! Imagine if I don't crack this exam, will your father accept me? He won't!"

I asserted, and she chuckled softly. My heart pounded painfully gazing at her laughing. Is this a joke for her?

"Wait a second! What are you thinking?"

She asked me in an amusing voice, and I cleared my throat

"I'm talking about the marriage proposal that I will propose before your father, for you!"

I elucidated her, expecting a positive response from her side, that didn't seem to be coming.

"Marriage? Are you out of your mind? We don't marry out of our castes."

She blurted out so casually as if I was nothing for her, as if she was never attached to me! Was everything that she said earlier a lie, or is she too young to decipher the depth of love?

"Then why are we dating?"

I questioned her, my voice low and deep for I felt the sand slipping down my hands - the sand was our relationship here.

"We're dating because we wanted a relationship, not a marriage."

She stated normally, now devouring the pasta. Even gulping down the juice had become difficult for me, but she was eating so freely as if nothing happened.

"Preeti! You wanted me with all your heart when I wasn't with you, and now you don't want it."

I reminded her of her own state, since she had told me about how she missed me for the last four years, but this version of hers doesn't seem to be the same.

"I want it, but I won't be able to marry you "

She mumbled in a prominent voice, still being unaware of the pain her words were causing me.

"Oh! Then I think I should focus on my studies more. Come I'll drop you home."

I uttered, flaring heavily, and stood up instantly. Before she could ask anything, I left the table and walked out to my bike. She came running to me from behind, and hugged me.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I know my family, that's why I said so. And what is the point of marrying. You know what I don't believe in marriage."

She implored, but I didn't touch her arms that were wrapped around my waist. I have never touched her, and I have promised myself not to do it till she turns eighteen and gives me consent.

"Even if we don't get married, I'll still be yours. Chastity and loyalty are jokes in today's marriage."

She spoke in a cute voice, and now I seriously regret dating a tenth standard girl. Damn! She doesn't even acknowledge the importance and depth of marriage.

"Hey! Hey! Stop Preeti!"

I said, turning around, making her slacken on me.

"Let's go home!"

I groaned and we straddled over the bike. I dropped her on the main lane, and kept watching her until she reached her house, but what is her younger brother doing there? Does he know about us?

Coming back home, I texted her clearly that we wouldn't meet each other until my exam is done, and fortunately she agreed. I began focussing on my studies, and every time I lacked motivation, I used to see my Nani's old wrinkled face.

She used to cook for me, with her shaking hands so that I don't get disturbed, and my studies don't pause. I felt like helping her, but she always pushed me away, stating that I must study... only.

I was trying my best to cover up everything, but Preeti's constant texts were disturbing me. I couldn't scold else she would feel bad, but I tried to explain her my condition that she didn't seem to understand.

Under all this pressure, I didn't count how many nights I forgot to sleep. Manier times I had slept on the books, without closing them. My entire room had stickers of police uniform, stars and whatnot to keep me motivated, and the finally the D-Day was here.

Touching my Nani's feet, I left for the centre with Jai. He hugged and I went inside. The paper was tough, and there were many questions that couldn't be tackled by me, but I think it's generally difficult until I came out of the centre and eavesdropped on people talking about the problems that I couldn't solve.

Was the paper easy, and am I the only dumb here?

I was covered in sweat, when Jai waved his hand at me. He was wearing a mask and a cap to hide his face from the students, otherwise the girls would have jumped on him. He is quite popular among the youngsters.

I was eagerly waiting for the results, and visited Preeti a few times during this period. She could sense my fear so she kept motivating me like an adult, and I really admire how she handled me, until the result was announced.

FAIL!

That is what I received after waking up at nights. I wasn't selected in this examination, and now I have no idea how I would inform my Nani about this.

Reaching home, I crouched on the ground, and wailed miserably. My nani is working day and night for my success, and this is what I gave her back - failure. I felt like jumping into Ganga river, but she came close to me, and struggling a little, she sat beside me too.

"Beta, jeevan me ek baar me safalta mil jaye to uski kadr nahi hoti. Aaj role, khoob role par kal se phir baith. Mai phir khana banaungi tere liye, phir se tumhe apne in kaapte hath se khilaungi par tu himmat mat harna ..samjha bacha? Tujhe wardi me dekhke hi marungi."

"Son, if success crawls to us at once, we won't value it. Weep today, weep as much as you want but start working from tomorrow. I will cook for you again, and will feed you with my own trembling hands again, but you don't lose your spirit and will...got it? I will die peacefully after seeing you in police uniform."

She asserted, and kissed my forehead deeply. I embraced her immediately and cried my heart out. She had cooked simple jeere wali lauki for me, and we ate it together. She kept wiping off my tears lovingly all this while, and I slept on her lap that night.

The next day, Jai came to visit me, and it took him no seconds to discern my state.

"If you say, my brother will arrange a post for you. You will wear the uniform right now."

He advised me, and I glared at him, making him clear his throat instantly and gulp down lowering his gaze. We have become quite close now, and I do scold him sometimes, especially when he goes to brothels.

I don't why he and Dhanraj bhaiya do such stuffs. I like Balraj bhaiya in this case. At least he is loyal to Niharika ji - his girlfriend who is the lawyer's daughter.

"No, Jai! I want to earn it, on my own."

I made my point clear, and sniffled, ducking my eyes down.

"Bro, the reservation will never let you win."

He spoke, and a jolt threatened my heart. Yes! Belonging to the general category reduces our chances of selection, but should I feel defeated because of the system?

"If I'm a warrior, I'll win even amidst the reservations. I will prepare again."

I made a pledge to myself, and tapped my chest with my right hand to calm my beats down.

"And what about Preeti?"

He asked, urging me close my eyes. I think I must take a break from this relationship, till I get selected in the entrance exam.

"I'll ask her for a break."

I stated, wondering if she would agree to this or not. I hope she will, because it's good for both of us, and if she really loves me, she will definitely understand my situation and my dedication towards the goals.

I called Preeti's number. She has just got a new phone after her tenth results were declared, so it has become easy for us to talk now.

"Hello!"

She answered, and I replied after a second

"Chipmunk! Let's meet!"

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

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